First, the sugar issue.

I’ve been trying to seriously cut the sugar from my diet lately. I know what you’re thinking: Why would such a level-headed, reasonable, beautiful, hilarious woman participate in such masochism? Well, I watched the infamous Robert Lustig sugar lecture on YouTube— OK,“watched” is a strong word. I had it playing in the background while I sent stupid photos to Anthony at work:

Anyways, homeboy’s main consensus is that sugar, especially fructose, makes us fat. And Americans, especially soda drinkers, consume way too much.

Aside: Don’t you wish were one of those people who drank like 24 liters of Coke a day, and then when someone tells you, “Hey, stop that, dummy,” you give it up and lose 100 pounds overnight? WHY GOD WHY am I such an intelligent consumer?

So yeah, I’ve never been a soda drinker. I really drink only water and coffee. And beer and wine. But since becoming a sugar detective, I realized I was eating more sugar than I thought. The 100-calorie packs of cookies after dinner have been replaced by a square of Lindt dark chocolate. No more KIND bars, which were becoming a pricey, thrice-weekly habit. No stealing Oreos from Anthony’s junk drawer at night.

These aren’t huge changes. But I’ll tell you what: Eating no sugar is WAY EASIER than eating a little sugar. Having a strict, off-limits policy when it comes to cookies et al. has actually been pretty freeing. It’s been about 10 days, and I haven’t really slipped. I also haven’t lost a damn pound. Which brings me to my next point…

The Creatine Isn’t Doing Shit

It’s been close to a month, and I’ve been fastidiously taking 3.2 mg of creatine monohydrate every single day. The scale has gone up slightly, which I attribute to water weight, yet depressingly, I have not noticed an increase in my strength.

However, I will say this: At my box, we stopped doing the 5/3/1 program before WODs. Without the daily opportunity to work up to my max weights, it’s harder to detect real progress in the main lifts. I haven’t felt much of difference in stuff like pull-ups (can’t do ‘em without a band) or push-ups, either. Which sucks. Because I keep waiting for the day when I walk into the gym and can suddenly bust out 50 strict pull-ups like a boss. Hasn’t happened.

Part of me wants to keep waiting and give the creatine more of a chance. The other part of me has freaking HAD IT with the side effects. My stomach does not enjoy this stuff, people. The bloat (although minor) has not been fun. I drink tons of water, and I’m still Marco Rubio-thirsty all the time. Perhaps I’ll take a break, see if turn into a little baby in the gym and/or deflate into a normal human being again. The pros and cons are definitely at odds. Is a month too soon to notice a difference? Should I up my dosage? Advice is obviously welcome.

P.S. It’s Valentine’s day! I hope you’re celebrating by loving someone or something, even if it’s just chocolate.